the trouble with spring cleaning is that nothing ever really seems to get done. because it's not just tidying up, straightening things or shoving things in the closet to deal with later. it's taking everything our of where you shoved it in order to actually deal with it. it's moving furniture to clean under it instead of around it, trying to organize CDs (half of which appear to be missing), organizing all my files...my living room/bedroom is swept, but there are piles of things all over the floor that i'm still trying to find places for. i haven't even started on the kitchen yet, but i'm going to be moving all the furniture to one side of the room, mopping the floor, moving all the furniture to the other side, mopping the floor, and then putting all the damn furniture back.
have i mentioned that this is my spring break? yeah, i'm cleaning for spring break. it needs to be done, but oh how i hate doing it. especially considering that in two months, i'll have to move out, and clean everything again before i finally leave.
have i mentioned that i have absolutely no idea where i'm going? because i don't. i can't afford the rent on this place without student loans to cover it. i wanted to stay through the end of june, but really, there's no way i can come up with an extra $700 in the next two months. and i have to be logical. if i spend an extra $700 on this apartment, i won't have it to spend on looking for a new place to live that isn't my parents' house. spending that would only prolong the inevitable return.
it's not that i don't like my parents. it's not that i had a problem living with them before. but it's chaos there right now. my sister, her three kids, and her dog are all living there too, on top of my parents and THEIR dog. i've spent since september on my own, just me and the cats, in a nice spacious studio apartment, living quietly. to go from this to total chaos is...not exactly my ideal. and there's the fact that there's just no room for me. the boys could double up, yes. i could have my old childhood bedroom back. but the fact remains that i'd be going from my own apartment to a tiny bedroom, PLUS two cats in there at all times with me (the dogs make it impossible for the cats to be in the rest of the house). i don't like the idea.
there's a slim chance that i might be able to move in to the < href="http://beatpoetgrrl.diaryland.com/050312_96.html">infamous house that my brother lives in. it's a party house, sure. but it's four boys i've known (mostly) since they were teenagers, and whom i trust. i'd prefer to live with guys, since living with girls has, for me, always ended disastrously. like, really really disastrously. and it would be the basement room, which is quite large, and separated from the rest of the house. i could live down there happily with my cats, worrying about nothing. and, i have to admit, it brings out a little bit of my Wendy complex--i like the idea of being the one girl in the house (not like THAT, perverts). i like the idea of sort of taking care of the Lost Boys, but at the same time getting to share in their adventures. not to mention, they most likely wouldn't notice that i'm an occasional slob. and i will never have to tell someone whether or not their outfit makes them look fat, or worry that someone will be mad at me if i just don't feel like sitting around talking for the whole night. guys are generally just less maintenence, i find.
nothing new on the PCOS front. i have to gather all my financial information to give to the hospital gods so that i can qualify for payment assistance, since i have no health insurance. then, we'll see. although i think i'm actually going to get my period for the first time in three months! the pill is truly a beautiful thing.
oh, and it's supposed to be 30 degrees F tonight and feel like 19. spring what?!
and now i have to get ready for work, because i am going to be late.
beatpoetgrrl
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