i tend to post quickie blog-type things on myspace these days. don't worry, that's not the prelude to an abandonment entry; i've stuck it out this long in diaryland, and i'll keep sticking around as long as andrew manages to get the site back up and working every time it dies.
but since i'm tired, and i'm lazy, and i'm really really pissed off at the whole damn world, i'm going to cut and paste myspace blog entries here for your reading pleasure, in a misguided attempt to be all cool and scrapbook-like.
from sunday night:
i knew it was going to be a bad night when half the party was easily ten years younger than me. don't kids have their own parties anymore? do no one's parents go out of town? or is it just cooler to crash the grownup parties now?
i didn't drink, because i wanted to be able to leave if it got too bad. and really, that should have been the first time the police showed up and started busting underage kids. but then all the kids cleared out, and i figured "hey, i'll stick around for a little while." and then the cops came again, and they stayed right outside, waiting to pull over the people who were fool enough (or sober enough) to leave. so i stayed.
i should have left before the bloodshed. when bottles started getting broken and chairs getting thrown. i should have cleared out when it took five guys to hold james down. but then i had to stay and make sure things were ok. because i'm like that. i'm the blood mopper, the hair holder and back rubber while you puke. i'm the one you want around when you bust your knuckles open at two o'clock in the morning.
i went to the party last night with every intention of getting drunk and maybe flirting a little. reconnecting with old friends. making new ones. maybe even meeting a new person or two. sadly, most of those never happened. but my real regret of the night is not telling the white power motherfucker that he was a stupid racist asshole who should crawl back under the rock he came from and die there. but i didn't want to start trouble. if i'd know how much trouble there would have been anyway, i'd have done it. and i'd have gotten rob to help.
i think i just need to get the hell out of warren county. maybe even out of NJ completely. i dunno. but something good needs to happen, soon.
from today:
i'm not saying montclair state should explode in a giant fiery mass. i'm just saying i wouldn't be all that upset right now if it did. classes i need are cancelled, one class is listed as something else entirely on the department website and on the registration website. and i mean completely different. "women writers of the 19th century cannot possibly be confused with "politics, the press, and pursuing the presidency." there is at least one of my required courses starting at 8:30 in the morning nearly every day of the week.
in other news, i'm thinking about moving on-campus. it would be weird weird weird and feel wrong wrong wrong to be living with all the little boys and girls. but it would be really really nice to be able to get up at 7:30 for an 8:30 class. instead of getting up at 5:30 and leaving by 6:30, only to inevitably hit some sort of terrible traffic mess and end up late for class anyway. but it depends on how much it'll cost me, whether i can manage to afford it, how much financial aid i'll get, and whether i can get a single room. because fuck if i'm sharing a cell with someone ever again. been there, done that. it ended badly.
the one good thing is that my creative writing professor really wants me in his poetry class. and said something along the lines of it's good that i'm writing fiction for him right now because it gives him more to say than just praising me too much for my poetry. so that was nice.
i still hate montclair and all its registration people though. and i have to be back there in twelve hours...
by the way, diarylanders, you can find me on myspace if you so desire. if you want to add me as a friend, send me a message first so i know who you are. i tend not to add random strangers. non-random strangers are totally ok.
i don't like mondays,
beatpoetgrrl
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