i'm supposed to write this really great entry about my weekend in maryland. all about the trip, and how cool it was to be with people i haven't seen in a good four years. and all about meeting these people. but right now, i can't.
and why? because i'm giving up sugar. but why should that make a difference? you ask. well, gentle reader, here's why: i want sugar more than i have ever wanted anything in my entire life. more than i want to breathe, i want sugar. more than i want the sweet sweet nicotine that is more addictive than herion, i want a 20 oz. bottle of coke and some chocolate, stat. my head hurts, i'm tired, and i'm going to be a raging bitch for at least the next two weeks.
sweetness is the one taste we are born craving. it's the taste of mothers' milk, of treats and rewards, of childhood cereal eaten in front of cartoons. it's pet nicknames and cute children. it's what we call someone we like. sweet. sweetie. honeybunch. sugar.
it's also the craving that won't go away. the overload. the buzz. soda, cookies, lemonade, frosting. and before you know it, people are whispering when they give you your dress measurements, and the best your friends can say is "oh, you're not that big."
so you buy new exercise DVDs. and you go out and buy whole-wheat noodles and fresh fish and all that. and you try not to succumb when your father brings home eclairs, even though they just sit there on the counter, taunting you.
so yeah, i'm giving up sugar. and i hate it. we'll see how this goes.
beatpoetgrrl, disgruntled.
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