i haven't had a decent night's sleep since saturday. sunday i was obsessing about a new poem (that i don't like and probably won't be posting), then last night i was doing research. on the communist party in china, because we're talking about becoming madame mao. and we're required to do one group presentation this semester, and i, stupidly, signed up for the hardest book. and apparently a group that has no interest in actually being a group, since i haven't heard from any of them at all. we met for five minutes outside class to divide up the workload, and that was it. oh, and they have no idea who mao is.
so i'm nervous, and i'm afraid that somehow i'll inevitably screw it up, because there will be traffic or i won't be able to find a photocopier to make 40 packets of visual aids. or that the professor (who is incredibly tough. brusque. scares the hell outta me.) will ask me lots of questions that i can't answer. or will make me somehow relate the background of what i'm talking about to the book. which i'm not sure i can do, since all i'm doing is trying to provide a context.
next time remind me to talk about why i'd much rather talk about the text than its socio-political source, mkay?
now i have to run print shower drive photocopy run present fall over before 11:30.
beatpoetgrrl
and i'm ridiculously nervous.
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