this diary used to be a place that i used to talk about ideas. i'm not sure when that changed. three hundred entries in, i'm detailing what i did the night before and not even thinking about anything else. so a while back i asked people to give me questions. one person wrote me back. thank you, ger, i love you. and now i will answer your questions.
Name a few favorite qualities about yourself and when did you realize them?
that's a hard question; i think people in general and women in particular are taught that they shouldn't talk too much about their strengths. which is silly, but very hard to break through nonetheless. but that's not what you asked, is it? so:
*i like that i'm smart. i think i always knew that i was, and people have always told me. it's something that's constant for me.
*i like the power that i have with words. i discovered that when i was maybe 15 or 16. i haven't looked back since.
*i like that i honestly listen to people and really care what they're saying. and that i know what they're not telling me, too. (i'm alec bings, i see through things).
What four things emotionally/physically/mentally would you like to change about yourself?
it would seem like the first thing i'd say would be that i'd like to lose weight or grow another two inches. both of which would be very nice, mind you. but what i think of, these days, is that i don't want to be so scared. of what other people think of me, of the repercussions of my actions. i want to be less focused on everyone else for a change, and more on myself. oh, and i'd also like to learn how to flirt, because it might come in handy someday. (was that four?)
Name seven songs for a soundtrack of the year you graduated high school and why those songs.
ooh this is difficult. i listened to mostly terrible music in high school, luckily getting less clueless in my senior year. let's see:
1. creep, by radiohead. because i walked around singing that "what the hell am i doing here" part in the hallway every day.
2. you suck, by the murmurs. because there was this really cool new kid that i had this huge crush on, and then he stopped talking to me.
3. don't know how to party, by the mighty mighty bosstones. because my friend jeremy had just introduced me to ska.
4.operation ivy. because i had just learned about punk rock, too.
5.suffragette city, by david bowie. my friend kim had made me a mix tape once, and it contained all of what i knew as cool music, and that was one of my favorite songs on it.
6. church music, because i was one of the soloists, back when i was a very active lutheran (seems strange to remember that now)
7. what i did for love, from a chorus line. because i ended up singing it many times for all these theater gatherings. (also strange to remember me in musicals, now.)
to sum up? i used to be extremely clueless, and mousy. the older i get, the more daring i seem to become. apparently, i'm living backwards. by the time i'm 70, i'll be burning shit and cussing out the police.
rock and roll, -beatpoetgrrl
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