i spent all damn day working on this new layout. and don't get me wrong, i love it. and i'm insanely proud of myself for having finished it. today i mastered pixels, and div tags. this is the first layout i have ever done from scratch. and many many many thanks to stephen for his patience and fortitude in the face of my complete lack of ability. let's all tell him how much he rocks.
as for what i should have been doing today...i should have been finishing my admissions essays, laundering my clothes, and mailing out my forms to the two professors who have kindly agreed to write me recommendations. i hit a slight hitch, however. the computer refused to work. and by this i mean that it keeps running and spitting out pages, but none of them are printed. thus, i can't print out the poems i need to send to Professor #1. i also can't print out my admissions essays, were they to be written tonight.
i'm not sure why i'm having such a hard time writing them. why i'm spending my weekend doing internet quizzes instead of the things i need to do. except that maybe, i'm a little scared. or, you know, a lot scared. it's what i want, yes. but it's a huge step, a leap out into the Great Unknown. i haven't been to montclair since the gifted and talented program in elementary school. i haven't been in college in three or four years, and my last attempt went down in a giant ball of flames.
and it's all very well to tell myself that it's time i went back (it is), and that i'm a different person now (i am, kinda), and that i can do it this time (i can). it's still scary. someone please kick me in the ass and tell me that i don't have time to wait around; some small part of me is waiting to miss the deadline so all the scary stuff will go away.
in other news, Pater Omnipotens went to pick up my Brand New Car today! it needs a clutch, brake work, a passenger side mirror, and it's teal. but it was $300, and for that can i really complain about color? it's a 92 jetta, by the way, what i wanted, about three years too old.
how much do i love "i love the 80s strikes back?" a lot. --beatpoetgrrl
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