i had a spa day yesterday...i moisturized and exfoliated and colored my hair and pushed back my cuticles and filed my nails...so now i have perfectly highlighted hair (because i'm that good), smooth elbows and knees, and twenty perfect nails. and yeah i feel good, but empty at the same time. while i was doing all those things, i could have been writing, or making things, or learning something new.
why is it that we feel we need all these things to be beautiful and feel good? would anyone really notice if my cuticles were a little ragged? is it a prerequisite to being taken seriously that my eyebrows be arched? i understand how the beauty myth works, and i have to wonder how much i'm buying into it. sometimes it feels like the makeup i put on is some kind of forcefield. like if i look a certain way i'll be safe.
on the other hand...it feels good to do something sweet for me every once in a while. decorating and annointing the body has been around for thousands of years, and with good reason. it's a celebration of life and beauty. it's an expression of one's self i like my body; which is also to say that i am my body, in that we are inseparable and inescapable. it isn't really possible to talk about one without the other. which is why i pity all the girls who wander around saying "oh, i hate my body! i hate my stomach, i hate my thighs, this/that." would you rather you didn't have them? how can you hate a part of yourself?
in light of other recent events i have decided to make a new banner ad. a really really cool one. possibly inflammatory. there's just one problem: my skills with graphic design are infinitesimal. thus, i have decided to host a contest--people, design me banner ads! i have a ton of new banner views, and the winner will win my undying love and devotion (and the knowledge that they're helping piss off the review boards), plus a link to their site or sites.
and, to steal an idea from heidiann, it's the first ever "Ask beatpoetgrrl A Question Week!" here's the deal. put a question in my notes page. i will attempt to answer them throughout the week, or i'll save them up until next weekend and make a giant entry instead. i haven't decided. but i vow to answer all questions, however embarrassing, compromising, or silly.
peace, beatpoetgrrl
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