it smells like spring today. yeah, it's going to snow tomorrow, but today it smells like spring. i can't believe how even the faintest hint of growth and warmth and light can completely alter my outlook on the world. things seem...well, not quite so bad...when i know that winter is actually on the way out. for a while there, i wasn't really sure. i don't know if this happens to anyone else--when it's warm and the trees are full of leaves, i completely forget how they look in the winter. and vice versa. i can't imagine the leaves back onto the trees. and sometimes it feels like they're never coming back at all.
otherwise...thank you to everyone who wrote to me with advice about the boy/girl phenomenon. however contradictory it all was. and however moot--he's never contacted me again. i'm not sure how i feel about that; a little rejected, yes. but in some ways, i'm kind of...relieved? that's not quite the right word, but it's close. i didn't feel right about the whole thing. it wasn't anything he did or said, really (aside from correcting my grammar, which really irked me), it's more that we didn't seem to fit together (not that way, you perverts).
i'm not looking for the love of my life here, people (i feel like i'm channeling shirley maclaine in terms of endearment), i just want... i don't think i know what i want. i want someone i can hang out and goof around with, who is blindingly intelligent and takes my breath away, all at the same time. i want to walk around with a great big goofy smile on my face for weeks, and not give a damn who knows it. and i want spring to get here already!
i don't want much, do i? --beatpoetgrrl
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