so i spent valentine's day in my house, watching law & order SVU and hanging out with my cats. i consider this foreshadowing of my future life as a crazy cat lady.
saturday morning i woke up at 4. then at 5:30. then at 6:40. around 7 i gave up and got out of bed. went to the computer and started downloading music like mad. started trying obsessively to locate obscure CDs of my youth on the internet. smoking lots of cigarettes; i mentioned at some point that i'm starting to wonder if i'm becoming bipolar. it just feels like this weird jittery thing seems to happen to me on a cyclical basis...i made the mistake of mentioning this in front of my sister who started yelling at me. apparently she thinks i'm being a hypochondriac. i think it must be nice to never question your sanity.
at which point i realized i needed to get the hell out of dodge. i was supposed to go to younger brother's basement show, but the thought of all those people, and noise, and smoke sounded like a panic attack waiting to happen. so i got in my car and drove to new hope. i walked around love saves the day, this insane vintage store full of everything, and used bookstores, and whatnot. then i ate at el taco loco, felt sick, and lit out for home.
then i stayed in my pajamas for a couple days while it snowed. so yeah, i'm wondering if this manic thing is normal. anyone?
beatpoetgrrl
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