so this morning i was checking my clix, when i happened to glance at the banner ad below mine. "anorexia or death." so i clicked it. and got myself into a world of weirdness. there are apparently people in the world who believe that anorexia is a good thing. there are people who devote entire websites to starving themselves. they have lists of foods, lists of exercises, lists of essential vitamins. they have "thinspiration" pages full of models' photographs. full of pictures that are meant to be anti-anorexia.
and i feel that i need to say this. people, anorexia is a disease. it will kill you if you let it. in a way i understand it. the idea of control, of wanting to be absolutely pure. i feel the same way. but i feel it about my soul, not my body. because the thing is...we're all going to lose our bodies eventually. we are all a skeleton underneath, and we are one day going to be bones. there's no choice in that. how much better now to be solid. to have incontrovertable proof that you're here, and you're alive. personally, i am happier at the size i am, than when i was 14 or so, weighed 125 pounds, and dieted constantly because i thought i was fat. i won't tell you what size i am; i will say that i'm losing weight. that i was drinking slimfast for about three weeks. and that i really needed to lose. when i started taking the paxil, it killed my appetite and slowed my metabolism at the same time, so i didn't eat well, and i gained weight. i'm not dieting to fit into any kind of standard (though fitting into my old pants would be nice), but just to get the paxil-weight off. even so, there's not an anorexic in the world that would listen to me lecture them on body image. a while ago, i read an interview with elizabeth hurley in which she said "if i looked like marilyn monroe, i'd be so fat i'd want to kill myself." or something to that effect. the entire city of hollywood is anorexic.
but what i wanted to say. people, please, eat something. food is necessary to sustain life. food is good for you. food is good, period. it tastes good. it feels good. it smells good. i went to school with a girl who was an anorexic. she was beautiful, she looked like an angel with a lunch tray full of raw cauliflower. she had the boniest, roundest shoulders i'd ever seen. eventually she got sick, of course. skinny is not strong. skinny is sick, and it will make you sick. if you want to be strong, lift weights. take kickboxing. hate the world that made you hate yourself, not the body that sustains you. and go have a sandwich.
it's not a lifestyle. --beatpoetgrrl
 |
 |