i'm eating strawberries with milk and sugar...usually i'd just eat a strawberry but these are commercial and really bitter. it's pretty, the milk is turning all pink and syrupy.
this entry will make less sense than usually, probably. i stayed up all night, for the first time since probably new years eve. i was social, finally. in one of those parents-out-of-town, let's have a party kind of ways. but there was a bonfire. and i was in charge of it for most of the night. basically, as the sober partier, i had three missions: 1. guard the liquor. 2. protect the drunk girl from the lecherous party-goer. 3. keep the fire from going out. i accomplished all three with outstanding success.
i particularly disliked accomplishing the second task. every party has its person you wish hadn't shown up. the person who talks too loud, who raids the fridge without asking, who can't sing but does anyway. really loud. and who will grope anything in sight. and in order to protect the drunk girl, i had to draw his fire. get him involved in conversations. give him little jobs like finding me more sticks. flirting with him, when all else fails. ew ew ew. and really, it's a shame. because when he's not drunk beyond all reason, he's actually quite nice. i will say, though, that the people i protected last night owe me. though i did hit him. he smacked my ass. so i punched him. it was actually rather satisfying, hitting someone. i haven't since i was about ten.
it was more satisfying, though, taking care of a fire all night...some sort of primal responsibility feeling...or else i just needed the peace and quiet. and then, gradually i could see without the flashlight. and the birds started chirping. and everything turned that lovely shade of blue just before the sun comes out. it was so beautiful and quiet and peaceful. that's when everyone finally came out to see the fire. and then it started to rain. that's when i finally went home. got something to eat and read tales of burning love by louise erdrich until i couldn't stay awake anymore. and then i slept. a lot. i'm still in my pjs now, in fact.
time to get a shower and do it all again. it's my first time being social in about six months, so i'll enjoy it while it lasts.
"leave the apartment to buy alcohol, hung our diplomas on the bathroom wall..."
the weakerthans, of course. g'night. beatpoetgrrl
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