i'm spoiling myself a bit today...woke up not very long ago, and made toast and hazelnut-laced cocoa. even a little dot of coolwhip, since it should get used up soon anyhow. soon will begin the new year's getting-ready rituals--shaving, plucking, exfoliating, painting nails in glitter. hemming my new pleather pants...men count themselves accomplished if their chins are free from stubble. and i'm not saying this isn't a bother, nor am i saying i do all those things on a daily basis (because in reality my legs are lucky if they see a razor weekly). but adorning your body is such a fun thing; it's one of the oldest forms of self-expression. and i maintain there's still nothing quite like the feeling of freshly shaved legs and just-laundered pajamas. i bought a pretty flannel pair yesterday in fact, in a color i haven't owned since my very early youth--pink. pink and yellow plaid, mind you, with gold threads running all glittery through the pattern. there's something in me lately that's actually been craving things in a certain shade of pink. must be the winter craving for color; i bought baby blue the other day too. how amazingly out of character.

i haven't decided on a new year's resolution yet; though i genererally avoid making them, they do seem to sum things up more readily than my rambling prose. i should resolve to make my life special. or to stop wasting my talent and vitality, to get moving and get published. put up or shut up. fall in love, lose ten pounds, quit smoking, or any of the other resolutions that are common around the next few days. but i'm wary of making resolutions like that. they're begging for the feeling of disappointment months down the road when you realize once again that you're not really in control of life. it's better to just keep going, and try not to get off course. i think that's going to be my resolution--to keep going, whatever happens.

should auld aquaintance be forgot and never brought to mind... -beatpoetgrrl

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