*before i start my actual entry i would just like to say: someone please fix the diaryland chat applet. please. make it stop freezing and kicking people out and freezing and did i mention freezing? oh, and if you could make it stop freezing, that'd be nice. thank you.*

it was heartening tonight at the diner to see a fifteen-year-old girl come in with feminist literature. less heartening was trying to explain to a 20-year-old boy that yes i am a feminist and no i do not hate him. even less disheartening to have a friend of mine who i consider to be a greatly enlightened girl trying to tell me that she doesn't consider herself a feminist because she doesn't want to limit herself to fighting just for the equality of women. and so i'm going to take the opportunity afforded me by keeping an online diary to explain (or attempt to explain) simply and coherently what being a feminist means to me.

feminism means:

*believing in and working for equality.
very basically, a feminist is someone who believes that men and women are and/or should be equal. roughly that translates to equal pay for equal work, equal opportunities for education and advancement, etc. naturally feminism bleeds into fighting for equality of all kinds, since racism and homophobia are also damaging to the ideal of an equal society. there's a saying that racism sexism and homophobia are the three legs on the table of patriarchy. fighting one means fighting them all.

*liking yourself as you are
a big part of being a feminist is, for me, the fact that i am fine exactly as i am. not that there isn't room for improvement, but that i refuse to let anyone tell me that i'd be miraculously better if i had a boyfriend/ got married/ lost weight/ bought a new lipstick. it's about facing the fact that nobody's going to ride up on a white horse and save me, getting over it, and saving myself instead. and having a lot of fun along the way because i belong to myself and i don't need to seek the approval of others all the time.

*not buying into gender stereotypes
this fits with not waiting for the white knight. if i need to change a tire, i do it. change a light bulb? bring me the ladder. i have my own tools. i open my own pickle jars too. and i make a mean stir-fry. the point is, people are adaptable. why conform to what girls are "supposed" to do? you'd be missing half the fun. and on the same topic, my friend dan makes awesome brownies. my dad cried his eyes out over 'gorillas in the mist.' do what you want, not what you're supposed to do.

*supporting other women
this can be as simple as refusing to join the gossip mill or as complex as organizing an all-girls concert. and it's something we can do every day. by refusing to buy into the idea that girls are supposed to compete for male attention to the exclusion of forming relationships with each other. by not caring who's prettier/thinner/more popular, and stopping the jealousy virus. by going out and holding hands. quit plotting the downfall of your crush's girlfriend. invite her out for coffee instead. recognize the achievments of women in the past, and be thankful to them.

*being conscious of the work that still needs to be done
when women first got the vote, people thought the job was over, that since women had a political voice, they should be content. i don't like to think about what the world would be like if everyone had agreed on that. and a lot of people now think that all the work is done; women are equal and we should go about the business of living our lives. the thing is, we still earn 75 cents to every dollar that men earn, there still really is a glass ceiling, and one in three women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. things still need to change, for both men and women. it's frightening but it's exhilerating. we have the power to change things. that's something right there.

so no, i don't hate men, only injustice. i wear makeup because i like being sparkly and seeing pretty colors on my skin. it's a pity men don't take advantage of adorning their bodies too. it's fun over here outside the old rules. care to join me?

off the soapbox for the evening -beatpoetgrrl

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