three days without a post? inexcusable, i say! then i remind myself that nothing interesting is going on...the Best Baby in the World says pooh bear now. the leaves are starting to change. i can smell fall coming.

why does everything feel like it's not really moving or changing? school has started for everyone and people are settling into new routines. i feel like i'm going stale. like my soul is growing algae. but really, why should things be constantly changing, just to suit my need for development? i suppose according to hegel we're in the stage where synthesis becomes thesis, soon to clash with an antithesis. or maybe i just need to get away for a day or two...

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i've been hanging out the past few days with the austrian girls, petra and olivia. i met them while they were working on a horse farm in the valley--olivia is still there (shhh, she's illegal). petra and i bonded over english lessons(because sometimes it's good to know things other than swear words), and it was great to see her again and talk our weird little language, half english, half german, with some hand movement thrown in for variety. she's moving to atlanta to be with her boyfriend, and i wish her luck. and as soon as money becomes a reality instead of a far-off idea, i'll buy a bus ticket and go visit. and someday i'm going to austria too.

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the other night i drove a friend home and then spent an hour in front of his house, advocating sobriety; i worry about him so much, he's so bright and kind and he has so much beauty to offer the world. this time i think maybe it went through just a little, mostly i think because he's at a place where he's willing to listen. his short-term memory is disfunctional, he thinks he can only write when he's high or low or otherwise altered. so i asked him how many of his problems drugs have actually solved. whether he wants to depend on chemicals for inspiration. i pointed out that he's tried nearly every drug available and the only path untaken at this point is sobriety. i pointed out that keeping a journal would help the writing and the memory factor. i told him about my friend scott who taught himself to read all over again after he lost that ability to acid. i asked him to call me if he felt himself slipping back into the abyss of his old habits. he listened and he agreed, or seemed to. sometimes i feel like i can talk until i'm blue in the face and no one will even begin to hear my advice. but at least i can hope for him...

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i should sleep, as it's an early day tomorrow taking care of the baby, and a late night looking for enlightenment and $1 margaritas.

alwissend bin ich night, doch viel is mir bewisst.
-beatpoetgrrl

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