i can't even sleep for 12 hours anymore. must be the back-to-school mentality kicking in. nevermind that i'm not going back to school, at least not yet. eventually i'm going to finish the last 20 credits i need to get the little sheet of paper that says i'm educated. because apparently people need that paper to know that i'm smart. i have problems with the whole university system, not the least of which is that it seems like a big job-placement factory. like a higher-education vo-tech. not all colleges, obviously, but definitely my my alma mater falls into that category. i don't really know how to explain the reasons i screwed up my last year and a half there so badly...i could blame it on the depression. i could say that i realized how inane my experiences were becoming; how it felt like i was taking the same class over and over and just reading different books. the fact that i never went to my psychology of women class and pulled straight A's. the fact that the only portion of the school that never needs to worry about funding is the frank perdue school of business (the chicken wing). so i don't know what it is. maybe it's all of that. but i'm going back to brave it when i can build up the funds. because it's my only path to graduate school, where i can really learn what i want to know.

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i'm listening to sleater-kinney to drown out the sound of nascar coming from the tv room. it never fails to amaze me how different i am from the rest of my family. not that it's a bad thing, but sometimes it feels lonely.

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ok i think maybe i'll go get some sunshine.
with love -beatpoetgrrl

ps can anyone tell me what's wrong with my html that the "newest" link is dead? i didn't do anything i swear!

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