ok i'm slightly more awake than i was this morning. i've gone down 10 mg on the paxil which i think explains the general feelings of lethargy i'm subject to at the moment. i can't wait to feel normal again...i knew there'd be side effects from going down; i just didn't know nonstop sleeping would be one of them.

yeah. about this Crush thing, i'm not going to say anything more for some time, because i'm afraid of jinxing it if i say anything. it's the curse of having a diary that people i know actually read. i am somewhat of an oxymoron, i've decided, because i put my life out for the world to see, and yet i'm an intensely private person. i don't mind if the rest of the world hears my stories, so long as the people i know remain in the dark. make sense?

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guess what kids--i have my first freelance assignment! it's not for money, but i will have the chance to say i've published an article. someone i met through instant messenger read this site and enjoyed it. he's starting a new magazine targeted at 20-somethings, and he wants me to write for him. woohoo! so by the end of august i must have 5-15 pages (talk about leeway) of an article dealing with the culture of my peers. i find this funny because i have never really felt a part of the culture of my peers; i spent too much time reading books and being a social outcast to ever really join Generation Next.

roughly what i want to do is trace the decline of social awareness through the 90s into the past two years, as it is evidenced by popular culture. it seems to me that each decade has some sort of "movement" which is heavily featured in popular media and/or embraced by a cultural force such as popular music. said movement flourishes for a while, then falters, and a sort of cultural vacuum takes over, also evidenced by pop culture.

in the 60s, the Movement was huge. bob dylan sang about times changin' and most of the music of that time had to do with social justice. suddenly the movement began to die out, and the carpenters and neil diamond became outrageously popular. in the 70s, the women's movement was followed by disco (possibly the emptiest trend ever). in the 80s, social awareness took on a foreign policy flavor, with things like Live Aid and "we are the world." only to be replaced with new kids on the block and TGIF. it looks like a pattern to me...

in the late 80s and early 90s, NKOTB was a huge thing (i admit to one summer of blind love for the band), along with a whole lot of other terrible pop music. rap being the one notable exception because it was a new genre, but even the main body of rap was (and is) interested in women and partying. then nirvana and pearl jam--the "alternative" music scene--happened. from most accounts, it was a scene developing in various places of the country, just waiting for an opening. and people started to look around and rebel. at lollapalooza, the activist booths were legion. mtv started rock the vote. more young people voted than had in over a decade. coincidentally, we also got a democratic candidate for the first time since carter.

by the late 90s, britney spears' popularity was growing, and television was starting to suck again. a new generation of boy bands blossomed. social change went out the window, and apathetic consumerism was in again. dubya got elected. we're in the cultural vacuum side of the cycle...

i understand that these are sweeping generalizations, and that they apply mainly to white middle-class people. of course activism isn't dead, nor good music. i'm thinking more of the gross public interest in both than in the actual existence of either. it's not that the activists (myself included) aren't still protesting and working away undercover. they/we are. but no one notices, and when they do it's because someone threw a brick into a Gap outlet(i'll deal with that can of worms later). it's like every decade or so people wake up, notice what's going on, get fired up briefly, and then go back to sleeping in their easy chairs, watching entertainment tonight.

ok it's a rough theory. i think i can find at least a little evidence to back myself up though...

i could use some feedback though kids, so contact me or sign my guestbook.

the answer my friend is blowin' in the wind

-beatpoetgrrl

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