today's horoscope: Gemini: Each misunderstanding adds to a greater body of knowledge. Hold onto the most valuable elements, and let the remainder pass away. Destiny is in the eye of the beholder. Change is still possible. umm. ok.

i woke up about an hour ago, stomach in a knot from a strange and disturbing Dream. i've been having a lot of them lately. . .this one just happened to be particularly appropriate (unlike the one last night where i was part of the cast of friends and we were on a bizarre and dangerous space mission. oh, and i had twins in that dream too.) but this dream had to do with a person whom i will call the Old Crush.

in this dream, Old Crush and i were apparently beginning to date, but he kept mysteriously disappearing and then suddenly he had a girlfriend. who hated my guts and tried to kill my car during the cross-country driving trip that we were on (?!). oh, and his sister was there too, riding in my car across the country when suddenly i was teaching school and the kids were so bad they were making me cry and i was yelling at them in ebonics.

then Old Crush was supposed to be dead but he wasn't but then i had to run because the police were after me because of something i apparently did while driving cross country. anyway, the flavor of the Dream was uncomfortable and frustrating.

and why am i dreaming about old crushes suddenly? possibly because there is a New Crush, and my psyche is wrestling with some issues of giving up the old crushes? i haven't had a New Crush in a few years; the old ones managed to get pretty entrenched in all that time. who knows. i'm still working off Dream logic right now.

more later when i'm actually awake.

is this a dagger i see before me? -beatpoetgrrl

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