ok the computer is no longer broken, so i can apologize for my absence and make a full accounting of how i used my time away...every time my parents update the computer, it takes another couple weeks for it to start working again. don't ask me why, it just happens.

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in the space of time before noon today, my dad's car broke down, my mom had to pick him up and drive him to work, which meant that i had to take the dogs out; while opening the door, i got a splinter, then piper, our half-shepherd/ half- shetland pony (ok, purebred monster) decided to take a brisk jog up the driveway and across the lawn to terrorize the miniature doberman next door. this resulted in what i'm sure was the compltetely hilarious spectacle of me running helter-skelter up the driveway, still in my pajamas, gasping for air and mixing calls to the dog with a stream of profanity and threats. dragging his huge bulk back to the house resulted in pushing the splinter so far into my finger that it took me 20 minutes with tweezers and other tools to dig it out. then i found out that an overturned tractor-trailer was blocking the entire highway i needed to drive on to get to my tutoring session. the moral of the story? some days are better spent hiding under a rock.

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ok working backwards from today: i've basically been tutoring my nephew in grammar, the four types of sentences, word order, and all the other boring things that go into eighth grade english. the two of us are so sick of grammar...i'm remembering why i hated junior high, and i can't wait until i can stop teaching grammar and get into something interesting, like reading animal farm and teaching about subversive literature.

in between the tutoring sessions, i've been working at the youth center (more later) and reading Roots. oh. my. god. i have not cried so much over a book since beth died in little women when i read it in fifth grade. by the time Kunta Kinte got captured, i was so involved with his life that i just bawled thinking about his family wondering where he went, and sheer anger over what was done to all the people of africa. it's a tricky thing though, being white and reading a book like that. knowing that it was people of your heritage who hurt everyone else in the entire world. in a lot of ways, it seems like white people have been in one way or another involved in the destruction of just about every other major culture. in some native american cultures, white people are supposed to be the work of witches, instruments of their desire for pain and death. and i understand where that comes from. but at the same time i feel like a good person...(ok if i keep going this is going to be a gigantic diary entry, so this will get its own entry shortly.)

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and now about the FuzzBox (that would be the youth center). i started chaperoning again, and making fliers and doing all those other fun working-type things. saturday was the annual summer marathon coffeebeat, the huge outdoor concert we put on. aside from the abysmal lack of crowds, it went really well...the bands rocked, people bought lots of refreshments, and i got to see some old friends that i haven't seen in years. and i got to hear one of the best bands ever, andalucia. they played last, and they are so amazing. they're good like radiohead is good. i just layed there on my back watching the sky gradually turn a deeper and deeper blue, and the light hit the airplanes and turn them silvery, and listened to the gorgeous disorienting guitar and the sound bytes from old movies...i haven't felt quite like that since i first heard tori amos. transported. and they gave me a free CD.

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my other new project is starting a young women's discussion group...i think back in feminism's second wave they would have called it a consciousness-raising group. i wrote a proposal and i submitted it to Julie, the FuzzBox supervisor/chairwoman/ grown-up-in-charge. she loved it, so all that remains is advertising and getting people to give presentations etc. my theory is that the best cure for bad ideas is better ideas, and i'm going to test that out. i wish i'd known when i was 13 what it took me another decade to figure out. wish me luck kids; i just might start the revolution.

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ok that's about it for now kids. sorry about the delay in getting it all up and running again. next time: project updates and why i need to find a job.

would you like fries with that? -beatpoetgrrl

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