i missed my every-other-day goal during a trip to migraine-land. spent thursday curled up on the couch semi-conscious and full of prescription painkillers. wonder what the diary would've looked like if i'd managed to write? an experiment in psychosis, no doubt. took me all day yesterday to recover; i felt like a dirty gray dishrag all day.

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and i really didn't want to miss writing because i've been saving up things i wanted to say. in fact, this might be a multiple-entry day. so where to start? the most beautiful boy i have ever seen came into the diner last night with a band of hippies. coffee-n-cream skin, septum ring, deep dark eyes, and little corkscrew dreads with blond streaks in them. could not tear my eyes away. alas, we never formally met, and i'll probably never see him again. so it goes.

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while at the diner last night, i got to talking with some of the kids about this particular girl; i'll call her crazypants. she came to the diner one night, and everyone guy in the place started to stare and try to lure her to their table; as the night wore on, i found her more and more annoying. she's loud. she talks about herself incessantly. she hangs on any male in arm's reach. she makes me nuts, but most of the people i know seem to actually enjoy her company....

i'm not sure why crazypants makes me so nuts. maybe it's that she never makes sense; maybe because she talks really fast and loudly and her eyes are kind of shifty. maybe it's because she only talks about herself and sex; the other night she brought fake breasts to the diner and tried to make everyone feel her chest. or because she only talks to guys; she seems to view the girls at the diner as background scenery. but i think the thing that really gets me is that i don't think there's anything behind the surface. not like with other shallow people who, if you dig deep enough beneath the veneer you'll find a nugget of authenticity, but really and truly blank. she is her exterior. it's like nothing in her life has made an impression on her.

and the thing that gets me is my friends like her . they actually enjoy her company . i honestly can't fathom that. my friends are smart and funny and have opinions on a whole range of ideas. they have ideas. how do they put up with crazypants? i can understand that my male friends might enjoy the attention; god knows the rest of us girls don't hang on them like that. but wouldn't that wear thin after a while with nothing to talk about? and what about the girls? am i not as open-minded as i thought i was? do they just enjoy the novelty?

i don't understand...the best i can do is hope everyone comes to their senses, or crazypants gets bored and finds some new group of people to hang on.

til niagara falls, -beatpoetgrrl

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